When I first came to Tokyo I became uniquely conscious of being an American. It just wasn’t really something I thought about on a day-to-day basis back home, any more than a fish thinks about water. But where I am isn’t America anymore. Which means that the only America present in most situations I’m in is the little piece I bring around with me inside myself wherever I go.

I have met lots of people here- not just Japanese, but through work I met many Aussies, Kiwis, and Brits as well. So I got used to small talk conversations… instead of “What city are you from” or “What high school did you go to,” it becomes, “What country are you from?”

And from there, there are the usual questions.

What’s the climate like?
What are the people like there?
Did you own a gun when you lived there?

I thought the last one was pretty funny the first time I heard it. I laughed and said, “No, I never owned a gun. None of my friends did either.”

But the question would keep coming up like clockwork. By the time my Aussie coworker asked it to me, I had begun to wise up.

“Say… you’re not asking me that question because I’m an American, are you?

The Aussie laughed and said, “I was just taking the piss out of ya.”

“So did you ever own a gun back home?”

He just laughed in response.

“So I guess you don’t get asked that very often.”

“No- can’t say I have.”

After that conversation, I realized it was the first time I had ever been stereotyped as an American.

I’m not talking about when someone from another country makes an observation while they’re in the States. That’s different- in that situation all parties are still aware of who the “foreigner” is. No, I’m talking about being the foreigner and running into a stereotype based on the quirks of my own foreign country I came from.

I wasn’t quite sure how to feel about it. I wasn’t upset or angry- if anything, it was just amusing. But still, it felt odd to be confronted with this stereotype that bore no relation to my actual experience of having lived my whole life in the States.

So later that day, when I was out for drinks with a couple of my fellow American buddies here, I thought I’d bring it up so we could have a conversation about it.

“I always knew people had stereotypes of Americans, kind of like they have ‘em for people from every country, but isn’t it weird when you actually live in a foreign country for the first time and experience them for the first time?”

“Yeah. It’s definitely a part of the process of getting used to life overseas. Why, what happened?” one of them replied.

“Well, I since I got here I keep getting asked if I ever owned a gun, and today I realized that it was because I’m from the US.”

“Aaah….” He answered.

“Oh, yeah,” said the other.

A moment of silence passed as they both seemed deep in thought.

“Yeah, I have a couple of guns back home. My favorite one was this gorgeous Arisaka Type-30 which almost certainly saw action in the Russo-Japanese war of 1904-5. It’s basically a Japanese copy of a German Mauser rifle, one of the greatest ever designed.”

“Mmm, I really like my Mossberg 590, a pump-action riot shotgun with a 20 inch barrel.” chimed in the other. “I also had a Smith and Wesson SW9VE- it’s a handgun made from all synthetic materials- and a Maadi MISR. It’s a post-ban AK-47 variant; it only accepts 10-round magazines.”

“Oh,” I said. “Well, I guess that’s not such a weird stereotype at all.”

“Yeah,” he said, laughing. “That’s what makes a stereotype a stereotype- there’s usually some real reason why it became a stereotype in the first place.”

“I guess so,” I said. “I guess so.”

It seemed odd in general and doubly so because Tokyo is the kind of city where typically one is amazed by how clean it is.

“What the hell- why are there all these broken umbrellas here? Did a sudden gust of wind mangle ten people’s umbrellas at the same time just at this one spot?” I asked her.

“Hmm…. Well, I think maybe it is Japanese culture,” she replied.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, maybe two people throw their umbrellas here, and then another person comes along and thinks, ‘Oh, I guess it’s OK for me to throw my broken umbrella here.’ And then another, and another.”

“Interesting. Well, I don’t think that’s only Japanese culture. I think that’s human nature.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Well I don’t know, maybe the Japanese are more prone to it. Since there’s more of a culture of doing what other people do here. But yeah, it’s human nature.”

I wonder who was the first person who chucked their broken umbrella there. Probably some gaijin. This is Roppongi, after all.

I just bought it today. I paid four pounds (about eight bucks.) It’s the first Radiohead album I ever purchased. Good tunes, sweet experimental emotional music to listen to on the iPod while exploring the Tokyo metropolis. I sure hope the labels take a few minutes away from suing children and dead people to take heed of the seismic shift that’s going on within their industry.

I’ve also met a girl who I like a lot. We’re always learning more about each other and the world, going new places, meeting new people. Feeling very close after such a short time, it’s exhilarating and scary and exciting to feel so much.

Sometimes we eat at Japanese restaurants and take pictures of each other just because.

She was in the Olympics at Salt Lake in 2002, as a snowboarder in the half-pipe competition. It’s not so hard to see why she was able to do it- her energy and drive seems boundless. It’s also a great story to tell when meeting people. I’m a little jealous- I wish I had a statement that could be explained in one sentence to anyone I just met, that told a lot about why I’m cool.

A couple months ago I was back in the States for a month, meeting family, old friends, new friends.

Then to Burning Man, braving massive duststorms and being immersed in magic and art and play for a few days, and camping out with three friends I have known for a very long time.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=6048&l=3c075&id=714569890

And then back to Tokyo. In search of a job, kind of. Maybe not in search of anything, that much. Or in search of a “something.” Free of the yoke of the cubicle-dwelling life to which I had grown so accustomed, my days became random and interesting and free and varied. My mind wanders a lot and so do my feet.

In September a buddy and I went to Tokyo Game Show. We ogled lots of hot video games and hot booth babes. There were lots of “cosplayers,” people dressed up as their favorite character. Reality was thoroughly left behind for the hours we were there.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=6421&l=2f34c&id=714569890

Around that same time my girlfriend and I got together. I had only met her twice when I went back to the States, and I thought about her a lot during that time. She is so curious and passionate. In our first two meetings she had asked me many questions that made me stop and think. I didn’t feel like I had all the answers to them. But I was very glad to be asked those kinds of questions. I wish people asked me those questions more often, I wish all of us asked those questions more often to each other, because they’re very important ones. When she asked them to me, I knew I wanted to get to know her better. I thought about her often while I was back home and am so happy that things eventually clicked with us after I got back.

The two of us have been many places. We went to a party on a boat where everyone wore yukata (informal summer kimonos) and enjoyed a nomihoudai (all you can drink) and talked and danced and yelled.

We went to an outdoor party in the mountains. We enjoyed the psytance out of an excellent system and I got to see the “other” side of Japan, the side with mountains and trees and rivers, more so than I’d yet had a chance. It was jaw-droppingly awesome.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=7398&l=ec1a5&id=714569890

She gave me a book called “The Alchemist.” It is an excellent novel, written with very simple, elegant sentences. I finished the last seventy-five pages earlier today while sitting at MOS Burger and eating a karubi-yakitori sandwich by a window next to a busy, bustling street. It is a story about following your dreams and being true to your heart. It is still winding its way through my memories and my thoughts now as I write this, connecting different thoughts and feelings, prying at the edges of things that have lied buried within me for some time.

I’ve started writing again as well. This one is coming from a lot of the time I spent wandering the Blade-Runner-esque alleyways of Tokyo, listening to futuristic music on my iPod, and also the handful of Philip K. Dick novels I read over the last few months. Since I’ve come here I’ve left behind comfort and familiarity in favor of the new, the unsettling, the exciting, and I hope that’s what my story will do for the reader.

Well, that’s a little bit about what I’ve been up to for last few months. Oh, I also joined Facebook so if you know me please add me.

I miss all you guys back home and still think about you. I’m done with my break and will write here more often.

The focus and effort put into this, and the end result it produced, leaves me inspired, refreshed, and a little bit jealous.

Please express your appreciation at his blog.

Anyway, readers of my blog may or may not be interested in this. Why am I posting it? Well, it turns out the #1 keyphrase by which people reach my blog is “leeroy jenkins transcript,” and for some reason I’m currently number one on Google for “leeroy jenkins transcript” even though I haven’t actually had the trasnscript on my site until now.

So, call it “Google appeasement.” I may have given into you this time, Google, but next time you decide I’m the #1 resource on all the Internet for something I may not go out of my way to make it true!

—BEGIN TRANSCRIPT—
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I first became consciously aware of this fear at around age 10, when I attended day care at the local Jewish Community Center.

Whenever they’d chant in Hebrew while breaking out the challah, I had the distinct fear that I’d inadvertently make some combination of sounds or gestures that would be taken as anextreme expression of obscenity and disrespect to the Jewish culture.

I feared what would happen should I ever stumble into such a situation. Silence would blanket the room. They would all turn to me, their faces glowing red with anger, their eyes piercing holes into me. I would have to run away in shame, forever exiled and shamed.

Well, things turned out OK. I never accidentally stumbled upon any secret phrase that would have triggered emotional and cultural armageddon. They were quite welcoming to non-believers like myself- and they didn’t ever try proselytize me, nor I them.

Nonetheless, the fear never went away- it just went dormant. Until I went to Japan.

Japan! The land famous for samurai who would slice you in half if you dishonored them; where one would sooner commit hara-kiri than lose face. The land where not only do you take off your shoes to enter a house, you must remember put on a separate pair of slippers to enter the bathroom, and you oughtn’t give gifts in fours or leave your chopsticks standing in your rice lest you be making a rude statement about death or the dead. The land of the tea ceremony- where the ancient masters would say, in so many words, “if you perform the ceremony imperfectly, it makes the sacred tea taste crappy.”

And so it came to pass that one day I would have to go with two coworkers meet some Japanese businessmen from a Japanese company and exchange business cards in a very Japanese way. I knew that I was doomed.

I wasn’t completely clueless about the business card ritual. For instance, I had heard that you were supposed to receive the business card with both hands, and that you were supposed to examine it closely before putting it away as a way to show respect. But I didn’t know much else, so on the way to the meeting, I decided to ask my coworker Akiko for advice.

“So, Akiko.” I said. “For this exchanging of business cards thing- can you tell me how it goes exactly?”

“Hmm,” she said, squinting. “Well, first, we meet them. And then, we say, hello… and then, we exchange the business card.”

A few moments passed in silence. “That’s it?” I asked.

“Yes, I believe that is it.”

“Hmm,” I said, pondering. “What about bowing?”

“Yes, also bow.”

“Who gives their card first?”

“Umm… you can exchange them at the same time,” she explained patiently. “It’s very simple, I think. You just exchange the card.”

“Oh. OK then.”

As we rode up the elevator to the company’s floor, I felt a knot in my stomach. As the doors opened and the receptionist waved us in the direction of the conference room, I took deep, measured breaths.

As I started to enter the room, Akiko tapped me on the shoulder. I stiffened up. Jerry walked in the room in front of me.

“Go ahead,” Akiko said. I walked in behind Jerry. My eyes bulged as I tried to watch for all the social cues I suddenly felt woefully unprepared to comprehend. Akiko followed me in.

Our three counterparts from the company entered the room in formation. We stood and got ready to greet them. As Jerry exchanged business cards with the man in front of him, I prepared myself to follow suit, being led into the meatgrinder.

Jerry went on to introduce himself to the next person, as I began to greet the businessman behind him awkwardly.

“Nakamura desu” he said, holding out his card. “Erickson desu” I said, taking his card, and bowing. I pulled my card out from my front pocket and handed it to him. “Doozo yoroshiku onegaishimasu,” I said, while holding my card out to him. He took it and I bowed again for good measure and smiled nervously. Jerry was already halfway through his introduction with the third man as I glanced back to see Akiko giving me a tight-lipped grin, waiting for me to clear out of the way.

I moved past the first man on to the second. “Erickson desu,” I said to him. “Suzuki desu,” he said.

I reached into my shirt pocket and handed him a card. I realized to my horror that I had given him the first man’s card. The men chuckled at me, and Jerry followed suit with a genial chortle. I did my best “don’t mind this stupid gaijin” bow and took the card back, and carefully gave him one of my own, and took his card.

As I moved towards the third man I took the cards out of my shirt pocket, making sure it was my own card I handed him. A few bows and “yoroshiku’s” took place, in an order I do not recall, and finally we all sat down.

The men at the other side of the table arranged the business cards they had received from each of us next to each other on the table. Jerry and Akiko were doing the same thing. I coyly peered at Akiko’s cards like a cheater on a math test, and then arranged the cards I had received in the same order, doing my best to make my movements appear very deliberate and just-so.

A woman brought us tea. No one touched theirs. My throat was parched, but I didn’t touch mine either. People began to talk, and I kept my mouth shut and listened for the duration of the meeting.

After what felt like hours, it finally was time to go. I bowed several times as I hot-stepped towards the exit. As the elevator doors closed I felt like collapsing on the floor.

We went for beers and nachos at a British Pub down the street. We found a table and made ourselves comfortable. I lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. “Well, it had to happen eventually- I made an ass of myself at a business meeting with some Japanese.”

Jerry laughed. “Well, it’s true that not having a business card holder is not so good. Definitely not good. They probably- you know, they don’t make a big deal out of it then and there, but after you leave it’s like, `Ha ha, did you see that guy? Can you believe that?’”I took a hefty swig of my beer as Jerry continued, “But it’s fine, you did fine. You’ve got to learn sometime. Besides, it’s nothing like Micah’s first time exchanging business cards at a meeting.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… he’d had his in the pocket of his trousers. When he pulled it out of his pocket it was bent completely in half. And the Japanese he gave it to, well, he just set it on the table, where it was bent 90 degrees, sticking up like a tent. You know, for the whole meeting, I don’t think Micah took his eyes off that card the whole time, with this mortified look on his face, just looking at the card standing up like a church steeple.”

We all laughed. I hadn’t realized that the business card holder was so important, but hearing Jerry’s story relaxed me a little.

Akiko seemed very amused and surprised at our discussion. “Is it so different here from how you guys do it?”

“Yeah,” I said, “In the West, exchanging business cards isn’t so ritualized at all. It’s more of a practical thing. It’s the interaction itself that’s significant, business cards are basically just an efficient way of exchanging contact information.”

“Really?” Akiko said inquisitively.

“Yes-” said Jerry- “Hell, in Australia, it’s considered normal if you just take ‘em out and toss one to each person as if you were dealing playing cards, it’s not considered unusual at all!”

“Really! That’s very interesting.” Akiko sat thoughtfully for a moment, then turned to me and said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was so different.”

I smiled and said, “It’s OK- it seems totally normal to you, I know you don’t even think about it. Let’s practice sometime, OK?”

“OK. Sounds good!”

And in the end, we all practiced together. Cultural armageddon was narrowly avoided, and everything worked out all right.

I must give credit here to my friend and former boss Phil, without whom this event might have slipped under my radar.

So, yeah, this is another one of those entries where you either already realize how awesome this is, and possibly are a little jealous, or else you think it’s kinda geeky and odd. Or perhaps both. That’s OK, I can live with that.

The main convention floor. Damned if that isn’t the biggest dangling Chocobo I’ve ever seen.

They had kiosks where you could play unreleased Square-Enix games. They looked pretty sweet but we didn’t quite have the patience to wait in line for an hour and a half or more for the privilege of playing them. No, taking in the sights and sounds and exhibits, not to mention some fine citizens dressed up as Cloud or Tifa from Final Fantasy VII was quite plenty.

A Judge Gabranth costume, from Final Fantasy XII. Right after this picture was taken, I grabbed this suit of armor and made away with it, and started terrorizing passersby on the street. Well, not really, but the thought did cross my mind.

I don’t know what the green tentacly thing is here, but here we see two chocobos. The “kiddie-style” chocobo on the left was there as part of the photo op. The more traditional looking chocobo on the right, however, is just a regular attendee who couldn’t resist the limelight. His was a pretty funny costume because it didn’t look right at all when he stood or walked normally- he had to stick his butt out and lean way forward with his arms stretching out behind him in order to carry off the look properly, as he did this photo.

Only in Japan, my friends- only in Japan.

Ah, yes- Tokyo! The finely arranged chaos of it all. The sea of black-suited men and well-coifed ladies on the walk to work in the morning, the giggling schoolgirls and dazed tourists in the afternoon. All the ramen shops, yakitori, kaiten zushi and curry houses. The layers of ritual and custom that wraps the locals in comfort- still alien as I start to adjust to it as the status quo.

And the sounds: “Irrashaimase” cheerfully spoken every time you enter an establishment and “arigatou goizaimashita” spoken to you every time you leave, like clockwork- to the point where you begin to feel that it is as definitively and naturally associated to your coming and going as would be to hear the sound of a knock when you rap your knuckles against your desk. The melody played at 5 PM each day that can be heard from any point in the country. Ubiquitous disembodied mechanical voices that start helpfully giving directions and advice at every turn.

Anyway, I have a bit of a backload of pictures from before I left, so here are a few.

A couple weeks before my visit home, my friend and I went to Tokyo Dome- where the Giants play. We went to ride the roller coaster. A nice steep and scary one, that gives you a great panorama of Tokyo from the top. The day we went must have been cosplay day, because there were tons of them. A group of them was nice enough to pose for this picture for us.

This was taken at a shop in Akihabara: This shop was dedicated to all retro games. That shelf you see in the background is pure Dreamcast games. Anyway, if you’re a gamer then there’s no need to explain to you how incredibly cool this store is; and if you’re not a gamer, there’s absolutely no way I could ever hope to explain the same, so I’ll leave it at that.

This was taken from the balcony at our office on the day the Chinese prime minister was visiting Japan. The uyoku (right wing nutjobs in black sound trucks who want to bring back the glory days of the Emperor) and the police were playing a game of cat-and-mouse. The uyoku were trying to protest the Chinese prime minister’s visit (with about 5000 watts of sound) and the police cut them off, creating a massive traffic jam in the process.

Hanami (Cherry blossom viewing) in Kichijoji. Unfortunately this is taken from a cell phone camera, but it was quite a sight to behold.

All the parks were packed with people drinking and talking and enjoying themselves on blue tarps, taking in the view of the sakura (cherry blossoms) in the brief period of time (about a week) while they are in bloom.

I was thinking there might be some kind of major reverse culture shock, but really the feeling is a bit like putting on an old cozy sweater.

Things I notice about being here after 3 months in Tokyo:

* Not used to seeing so many fat people. In Tokyo I felt kinda fat but here I feel downright slim.
* Good, cheap Mexican food.
* Although I laughed plenty of times while I was in Japan, my friends here are the ones who can make me laugh so hard my eyes water and my stomach starts to hurt with a surprising regularity.
* If it’s 2 AM and you’re awake, there’s not a lot you can do- at least in terms of anything that would involve leaving your house.
* Here- America in general but Northern California especially, people tend to be pretty laid back. Much more casual, much less ritualized. It’s very relaxing.
* “Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen this many people wearing jeans!” That’s one of the first things I thought when I got off the plane at SFO. When I got on the plane I was wearing a sportcoat and a tie; when I got off, I promptly felt overdressed. It’s nice to be able to wear jeans and a t-shirt and have that be normal.
* Talking to people I don’t know (including store clerks, etc.) is really easy… since we speak the same language. Oddly enough, it almost feels like I’m “cheating.”
* I almost forgot how big a part of everyday life a car is here. I’ve only been inside a car once in the past 3 months- it’s so different being in a place where you simply need a car to do anything or get anywhere.
* The whole car thing also makes it so much more difficult to drink, since you probably will have to drive at some point.
* My alcohol tolerance has gone up considerably. This may have something to do with the item above. It also probably has something to do with the fact that I work with crazy people.
* By and large, the weather in Northern California is pretty nice: Lots of sun, and you rarely get extreme hot or extreme cold.
* My folks are awesome. And this is where they live, and this is where I am from.
* My room at my folks’ house is fricken’ huge. I could practically fit my whole apartment in Tokyo in my room here 3 times over.
* 7-11’s in America are sorely lacking compared to their Japanese counterparts in terms of providing food that will fill you up without your stomach hating you later.
* I realized very acutely how much we’re all bombarded with the same messages and themes constantly: by stories in the newspaper, TV, radio…. advertisements, opinion pieces, popular culture- I was aware of most of the goings-on, but what I realized in coming back is how much repetition of the themes and stories, and how that works on consciousness in a very different way.
* I think my stomach has shrunk. I lost about 15 pounds over the past 3 months- I wasn’t trying to at all, just a matter of different foods, different portions, and doing a lot more walking.

All in all, it feels so good to be here right now. It’s very relaxing and restful, familiar and comfortable.